xmas belly

so i have a little xmas belly made up of a little bit of festive spirit and niceness such as mince pies, xmas pudding, trifle and many many chocolates including ferrero roche...
but miraculously when i weighed myself at the gym yesterday - yes that's the gym during the xmas holidays ladies and gentlemen! - i had only put on 2 xmas pounds! phew!
that's quite an achievement given all the naughtiness on offer this time of year.. i reckon i can get rid of that in 1 week of 'being good'
my stamina seems to have taken quite a hit tho - before xmas i had a really bad flu bug which laid me out for a week but which meant i haven't been the gym in 3 - eek!
so yesterday's date with the treadmill was a gentle one and i was pretty knackered pretty quickly!
will have to get back into the grrove before i meet up with my zero tolerance personal trainer again in 09!
but i still have another two lots of chrimbo chocs to get thru...

a sign of the times

i'm embarrassed to write the following sentiment but i think i better get it out there so i can consider the consequences of such an inbuilt attitude!
i'm pretty sick today, i have a cold bug, i'll be in bed most of the day and i don't really have much of an appetite...
so a little voice in my head said 'cool - might lose a couple more pounds!'
that is some fkd up shit!
why did i think that? i don't even agree with that kind of depressing self-harming self-hating BS!
that must be shit i've heard around me!
and if i've heard it and quite rightly dismissed it, what about the girls who heard it and ran with it!
sure i been losing weight - but to be healthier! being sick is not healthy!
but when i think about it i hear it all the time, people seeing weight loss as an upside of being ill! crazy!
my boyf doesn't want me to lose anymore weight and that's ok i just wanna get fit now i've shed the excess i was carrying around my waist and my hips, i feel so much better for losing the weight i have but there is such a pressure on girls, put on by themselves, to be perfect (whatever that is!)
jeez modern life is such a head fk sometimes... i'm glad i wasn't born in 1875 a peasant who lost her teeth by age 20 and died at 30 haha but i think we have our own cross to bear, we make life pretty complicated for ourselves... now where is that Kibbutz i'm moving to! haha
i think i need some broccoli...

zero tolerance

with Christmas fast approaching the festive treats are being thrust upon me at every turn - and i love mince pies! argh!
my new healthy eating regime has taken over my life though! i can no longer enjoy the old sugar filled treats of yesteryear because my new detoxed tummy doesn't like it one bit!
i went to a friends the other weekend and was offered a warm mince pie - wow - that's some tempting treat! so i indulged in not one but two warm mince pies! on top of this i had my first alcohol for a month and the two toxic treats made me feel sick! how rude! what have i done? i've ruined Christmas for myself! what am i gonna eat? haha
then at my work xmas party this weekend i was enjoying the gingerbread cheesecake when suddenly i couldn't eat anymore of the tiny portion! forget computer saya no, tummy says no! i have zero tolerance to bad food!
i've created a monster!
well not zero, i seem to manage a bit of the bad stuff despite my new awareness and avoidance of unatural ingredients, but this is a startling discovery!
it can only be a good sign that my body is detoxing successfully if i'm now rejecting this artificial crap that we're all spoon fed in the western world... there was a thing on the news about a bunch of remote people who were for whatever reason thrust into 'modern society' and given meals which made them sick from all the additives their bodies weren't used to...
but i ain't gonna live on watery porridge and bread for the rest of my life - i just didn't expect my body to reject refined sugar so quickly after i cut it down - crazy!

the red dress

having figured out that since August i've lost 14lbs i was quite pleased given all my problems sticking with the new regime!

i've been trying on new dresses - red ones in particular - the last coupla weeks cos i have a xmas party to attend in a few weeks but i was having no luck... typical!
why is it you can only find nice dresses that fit when you don't need one?!

so i found a great one online... i go to the store... i find it on the 'buy it before it goes' rail - in my size! amazing! i hotfoot it to the changing room and wiggle may way into this dress, only to discover it's too big?! but i'm definitely the size if not a size bigger than the size on this dress? ok - department stores indulging in a bit of flattery, nothing new, i get the changing room assistant to grab me the size down - which i know is also on the 'buy it before it goes' rail cos i spied 3 and checked all the sizes (astute shopper am i)...
the lady comes back and i get the smaller little red dress around my waist no problem but come a cropper at the bosom... pah!
no inbetween sizes here lady!
ruined.

so i asked my mum if she had any red frocks i could borrow and she had 2 for me to try... one was too big (bonus points from mum there hehe) and the second while looking too small was actually a neat fit! so i have a dress and it didn't cost me anything! hurrah! and its smaller than i thought i could get into - double hurrah!

the festive sprit

so with December fast approaching, parties to go to, dresses to squeeze into etc etc
the idea of the annual festive indulgences is making me plain anxious!

i read back over this blog and laughed at how it was more about my failing to be good than any hot tips on how to stay biscuit free! haha maybe thats for the best anyway - who wants to read about a goody two shoes?! hehe

so with Baileys-filled days looming i wonder if i can maintain my new lighter figure thru the holiday season! mince pies, mulled wine, christmas pud (the dessert not me! fnar fnar) i'm only human! it's gonna be interesting if nothing else*... not to go on but do you know how many calories are in a sip of baileys irish whiskey?! i think you can put on weight sniffing it! haha

actually i'm happy to report skinny bitch tells the truth - i don't like refined sugary snacks as much as i used to - it feels synthetic now i've gotten off the junk and i still crave the sweet things but i find i prefer a banana to a bar of chocolate - which is life changing and amazing! and i'm getting thru a whole lotta bananas! haha

people are so sensitive to any diet different to their own though, probably because it highlights their own guilt about any bad habits, and i wonder how i'll survive the social eating that comes with christmas... i don't want to offend anyone but i shouldn't have to eat anything i'm not comfortable with right? oh gosh... i guess it's gonna be a long month...

*of course i've kept all my fat jeans - i'm not an idiot! in fact i had to go shopping for new jeans cos my old ones are too big now! (listen to me, 'had' to.. hehe)

this time its personal

so i got myself a PT (thats Personal Trainer to the uninitiated hehe)
and man he hurt me this week!
power squats... seriously strange positions on an exercise ball... stretches to make you cry!
but hey if it works i'll be happy right?!
i have a few xmas frocks to get into this next coupla months so...
i'm still just over 68kg, which is cool, but i hate that i've stopped losing weight! argh! what can i do to kick those extra pounds! haha
i think i'm gonna quit alcohol for november... this will be over just in time for the xmas parties and may help with some extra pounds... and frankly after the b*tchin hangover i had after halloween i really can't face any of the stuff for a while anyway (hey don't judge me - i was bought a LOT of cheap vodka and sambuca shots and didn't have time for any dinner so i was a goner from the moment i got off the bus in town! haha)
i've been slacking at the gym too last few weeks, need to get back in gear if i'm gonna make my target weight of 63kg...
with the days getting shorter and the temperature dropping i been craving all kinds of wintery naughtiness like hot puddings and hot chocolate and hot - well you get the picture! but while i indulged to start with i gotta pull it back in, i think my dairy went up a bit too so i'm gonna have to scale that back...
my body is a temple after all! did you forget?! haha i did!

a life changing realisation

as i worked out down the gym today i realised that while my new healthy living plan has been rather successful (baggy jeans, loose belts etc etc) it's not something that i can really ever stop doing... yikes! 

no more enjoying cake with abandonment!

no more cocktail binges without a mental note about toxic damage to my insides!

sure i can enjoy 'a' cake and a couple of cocktails between now and eternity but after reading the book that has become my favourite reference in life i just can't seem to shake the whole 'you are what you eat' thing!

what i find strange is that this concept has been around longer than i have been! it ain't anything new, but why did i realise it seemed more true this time around? 

i've been worried i'm just a tired grumpy old lady recently but then that must be all the good behaviour haha, no i think i'm just in a funk being dragged down by all the negativity around us right now, credit crunch blah blah blah, hasn't anyone realised that could be turned into a great product? like a healthy oaty biscuit with choc chips? haha

anyways i'm now just over 68kg and seem to have acquired a personal trainer (he literally picked me up while i was doing squats in the gym - how rude! i was a squatting duck! haha) so i'll keep you posted but let me tell you this for nothing - I WILL NEVER GIVE UP CAKE! 

hehe

seaside diet

so after a wet weekend at the seaside where i indulged in much booze and chips on the pier... what? i was on holiday!

anyways i put on 2lbs which is frankly nothing to write home about so phew! haha

after my fall from grace i've got back on the wagon and resumed healthy eating but gosh after a lifetime of cake its really hard! the only fun things i allow in the house now are peanut butter and honey thanks to their natural flavourings!

and i don't feel so much like i'm denying myself, more like a junkie trying to kick a bad habit! i don't wanna take all the joy out of life but i gotta stop the sugar cravings - they're crazy! now when i see kiddies tucking into all that junk with their little smiling faces i'm forlorn for them! it's such a terrible thing that profits come over health in our western 'civilisation'...

at least i have one thing to smile about these days, with the credit crunch hitting wallets the world over i'm a pretty cheap date as a veggie and on a diet - even cheaper! haha

off the wagon

a diet lady once told me 6 weeks is all a diet is any good for, cos your body gets used to it and your weight loss plateaus...

so as i popped to pizza express with my friend belle monday night i remembered these words of wisdom and gave myself a week off my new healthy eating! convenient hey?! hehe

then while at the cinema yesterday* i indulged in a ben&jerrys milkshake and a bag of cheesy puffs! haha i'm just hoping i don't fall off the healthy wagon for good!

it's interesting actually, and i don't know whether its refreshed tastebuds free of chemicals or merely psychological, but these foods which i used to crave so bad didn't taste so great this week! almost the opposite -they tasted a bit fake (milkshake) or cumbersome (pizza) which was frankly weird! but the skinny bitches did predict this would happen! those wise ladies... tho the rich tea biccies that have invaded my morning routine once more aren't tasting bad at all! haha

hopefully i won't put on too many pounds while i'm off the wagon but i'll keep you posted as always!

*amazing! everyone should see Grease big screen!

boring bored

i'm a wee bit bored of my healthy eating regime already haha

its only a matter of me finding new healthy things to eat instead of the short menu i've lazily prepared for myself over the last few weeks...

things is i'm feeling good for the health-kick up the ass and don't have any inclination to eat the bad stuff anymore - its just i'm not well read when it comes to all things healthy and tasty...

research will be my friend, but i'm looking fwd to my weekly Friday blow-out haha, one chippy dinner coming right up!

i really need to figure our what to do with lentils... and is there such a thing as a healthy apple crumble?! i need answers! haha

so far so skinny

so a month after reading my new food bible, i'm 68.6kg and counting thats not much since the last drop but its a healthy steady weight loss i'm experiencing... nothing fast and faddy!

i also feel a lot healthier so i think everyone should read skinny b*tch! my boyf has taken to rolling his eyes when i say no thanks to milkshake/ crisps/ pizza in fact anything i deem a bad choice - he says i'm not his partner in crime anymore! haha

i did take him for a burger on Friday night tho - i don't want to be a dull girl and everyone has to have one indulgence a week so i had falafel while he had buffalo... yummy!

but i passed on the chocolate milkshake, hehe

wasting away

so i'm now 69kg - woohoo i'm in the 60s baby! so long the 70s, the good times are here - i reckon i should be about 66kg so i'm trucking on and the people down the gym now recognise me and say ehllo! haha i'm an everyday-er!

i was a little disappointed to discover a pair of new jeans from New York in May have become tent-like round my waist ... now they were big to start with so no there's no helping them!

but while i enjoy shopping for new clothes and a smaller waistline is a really great reason to do so - i'm trying to stop buying new clothes because i have so many already!! perhaps i will fit into the smaller stuff a bit better soon and will still avoid the shops...

i invented a really healthy dinner last week, steamed beans, cabbage and courgettes with stirfried beansprouts mushrooms and peppers, with a topping of worcestershire sauce! marvellous!

beans beans they're good for the heart

the more you eat the more you... well we all know how that ends! but i have been making such an effort in the pulse dept!

and it is an effort - cos if you don't spruce em up they taste real bland!

growing up i ate a lot of broad beans cos my dad really liked them - i must get some for the freezer in fact - chickpeas rock and kidney beans are easy to chuck into tomato sauce but the thing i'm stuggling to replace is pasta... i know couscous is yummy but i only like it sauce free... soup is good too in moderation... but pasta is pasta! i guess i'll just have to apply the rule of moderation to it - my belief is most Italians seem kinda skinny to me anyway! that blessed beautiful people, they eat so well, ice cream, pasta, wine! - and look so good - its not fair!

i have been eating fruit for breakfast for two weeks now and all is well - so i can recommend it! my dairy intake is right down and i've lost another 2lbs so i must be doing something right... well if i didn't lose them in stress over the past fortnight that is, haha

the stress diet

oh my god! i must have lost a stone in stress this last 10 days. moving house is a nightmare!
currently unpacking so having trouble eating proper so went to tesco for some instant healthy fodder like nanas and hummus haha

i was reading the ingredients of everything i picked up including cereals and man there is sugar in EVERYTHING! presumably nothing tastes nice without it! except we know that isn't true so why why why? i need to take skinny b*tch with me next time cos there are strange additives and i'm not sure which ones are nasty - they all sound very unnatural but i have to be balanced bewteen living life like wot it was in the dark ages and being a thoroughly modern millie! haha

i looked for this organic red wine too but could only find one californian one (of course! hehe) and it said contains sulphates and i'm not sure thats allowed... i will have to conuslt the b*tches...

did enjoy some au natural pickled onions though - haven't really had pickled onions ever but i dicovered Barry Norman makes his own from a passed down family recipe and while i ate 3 spicy little gems i had the 'Film' theme I Wish I Knew by Barry Taylor running thru my head - pickled onions with their own theme tune! you can't buy that kinda style! haha

caught unawares

today i ate a chocolate bourbon. despite reading the ingrediants first. no wait, don't look atme like that with pity at even hoping to change my sugar-addict ways! let me explain!



i was up late watching Mary Poppins at the theatre (and very good it was too!) and so this morning tres sleep deprived: therefore low on energy and i when offered said bourbon biscuit my resistance was at its lowest this week!


i am of course disappointed. i've left you down, i've let the skinny b*tches down and most of all i've let myself down.

but i have been to the gym every day this week despite being unusually tired as my body clock adjusts post holiday, so i guess i'm allowed to fall of the wagon once - i'm only human damit! haha



skinny b*tch says don't get caught with your pants down - but its easier said than done, tho i admit if you want to eat healthy you have to be prepared cos the shops sure ain't there to help! they even sell crisps and fizzy drinks at my gym rather than fruit and water?! crazy!



i am currently 156lbs (previously 161lbs) and hopefully will be less in another week!

no deep fried haggis for me

so i was on holiday in Scotland which meant two things: lie-ins and beer! haha

but since i'm trying to be good and change my wrong-un ways i put a beer curfew in place that meant no daytime drinking! haha

and surprisingly it worked!

6pm was beer o'clock and i even went had a booze-free Wednesday to keep a lid on the old calories, but still had a few cheeky ales the rest of the time!

so feel quite pleased with my holiday excesses - in that they weren't as bad as usual! haha

my holiday reading however was traumatising! i read a book called Skinny B*tch which told me to trust no-one when it came to modern food and that a global food corporation would sell its granny for a bigger profit and that means dirty dirty chemicals and hormones are in our food cos it makes their back pocket bigger! how rude!

i was literally agog at how awful and un-natural our food chain has become and it made me relieved to be a veggiwarian! though i do eat dairy and am currently cutting that right back! haha

its all about chickpeas at chez jodes now baby!

i ain't no jaffa

so i have been the gym every day and ate 'sensibly' all week and appear to have lost 4lbs - seems impossible! perhaps they'll be back today...

but what a great inspiration to my no more biscuits diet...

and now i've got to add sandwiches - well shop sandwiches anyway.. why?

i'll tell you why!

i watched a documentary on TV about how much crap like salt, sugar and fat they pump these shop sarnies with last night and frankly i never want to eat something i've not prepared myself again!

veggie options are so boring in the shops anyway* and it saves you money and um, well i can't think of another but those two are reason enough! seriously tho, reconstituted meats, water and starch pumped into chicken for preserving... gross!

all i have to do now is convince myself to give up lovely booze and i am sooo the next Kate Moss haha NOT! the problem with booze is that in moderation it would be fine - but one tends to lead to another in perpetuity and until i fall over... that's the high heels tho right?! haha




*except at Boots which actually came out top in the review with low salt and low calorie options the main drift, and i especially love the hummus carrot and watercress on malted bread - delish!

suggestive digestives

no more biscuits is my mantra when it comes to losing some pounds... and yet on day 2 someone brings in chocolate chip cookies into work and i guiltily enjoy 3 of them!

i will NEVER be thin... ha, and who wants to be? oh, that'd be me then! haha

sugar is such an evil invention - i am totally addicted to it! and yet once i get it out my system (that's usually about 3 weeks of abstinence in case you were wondering) i don't crave it all, and yet i fall off the wagon in a moment of habit and bobs yer uncle i'm addicted once more, craving chocolate, cake, biscuits, ice cream - all the naughty things in life! haha

i'm trying to diet in an 'old fashioned' 'everything in moderation' 'low carbs' fashion. i've recently been converted to organic milk because (i'm told) they fatten up cows with hormones and in turn they makes us into fat cattle! ruined! i thought my diary intake was safe! haha

i'm trying to go to the gym everyday but things like moving house, getting my boyf to the bank, going to the supermarket and going the cinema keep getting in the way of my pious intentions!

i just need to be strict and block out my after work hour and a half non-negotiable - then i'd be trim! o yes! and maybe allowed the occasional biscuit! haha