xmas belly

so i have a little xmas belly made up of a little bit of festive spirit and niceness such as mince pies, xmas pudding, trifle and many many chocolates including ferrero roche...
but miraculously when i weighed myself at the gym yesterday - yes that's the gym during the xmas holidays ladies and gentlemen! - i had only put on 2 xmas pounds! phew!
that's quite an achievement given all the naughtiness on offer this time of year.. i reckon i can get rid of that in 1 week of 'being good'
my stamina seems to have taken quite a hit tho - before xmas i had a really bad flu bug which laid me out for a week but which meant i haven't been the gym in 3 - eek!
so yesterday's date with the treadmill was a gentle one and i was pretty knackered pretty quickly!
will have to get back into the grrove before i meet up with my zero tolerance personal trainer again in 09!
but i still have another two lots of chrimbo chocs to get thru...

a sign of the times

i'm embarrassed to write the following sentiment but i think i better get it out there so i can consider the consequences of such an inbuilt attitude!
i'm pretty sick today, i have a cold bug, i'll be in bed most of the day and i don't really have much of an appetite...
so a little voice in my head said 'cool - might lose a couple more pounds!'
that is some fkd up shit!
why did i think that? i don't even agree with that kind of depressing self-harming self-hating BS!
that must be shit i've heard around me!
and if i've heard it and quite rightly dismissed it, what about the girls who heard it and ran with it!
sure i been losing weight - but to be healthier! being sick is not healthy!
but when i think about it i hear it all the time, people seeing weight loss as an upside of being ill! crazy!
my boyf doesn't want me to lose anymore weight and that's ok i just wanna get fit now i've shed the excess i was carrying around my waist and my hips, i feel so much better for losing the weight i have but there is such a pressure on girls, put on by themselves, to be perfect (whatever that is!)
jeez modern life is such a head fk sometimes... i'm glad i wasn't born in 1875 a peasant who lost her teeth by age 20 and died at 30 haha but i think we have our own cross to bear, we make life pretty complicated for ourselves... now where is that Kibbutz i'm moving to! haha
i think i need some broccoli...

zero tolerance

with Christmas fast approaching the festive treats are being thrust upon me at every turn - and i love mince pies! argh!
my new healthy eating regime has taken over my life though! i can no longer enjoy the old sugar filled treats of yesteryear because my new detoxed tummy doesn't like it one bit!
i went to a friends the other weekend and was offered a warm mince pie - wow - that's some tempting treat! so i indulged in not one but two warm mince pies! on top of this i had my first alcohol for a month and the two toxic treats made me feel sick! how rude! what have i done? i've ruined Christmas for myself! what am i gonna eat? haha
then at my work xmas party this weekend i was enjoying the gingerbread cheesecake when suddenly i couldn't eat anymore of the tiny portion! forget computer saya no, tummy says no! i have zero tolerance to bad food!
i've created a monster!
well not zero, i seem to manage a bit of the bad stuff despite my new awareness and avoidance of unatural ingredients, but this is a startling discovery!
it can only be a good sign that my body is detoxing successfully if i'm now rejecting this artificial crap that we're all spoon fed in the western world... there was a thing on the news about a bunch of remote people who were for whatever reason thrust into 'modern society' and given meals which made them sick from all the additives their bodies weren't used to...
but i ain't gonna live on watery porridge and bread for the rest of my life - i just didn't expect my body to reject refined sugar so quickly after i cut it down - crazy!